The Empathy Deficit: Why Understanding Others is Critical to Transformation Success

Last week a friend of mine was accused of being “tone deaf”. The context was that he was announcing expansion in one section of the company in the same week as cost reductions and redundancies were being announced in another. Whilst I don’t think it to be true in this case, it did highlight a common failure I witness in transformation: a fundamental lack of empathy. We obsess about technology, processes or change management but lack of empathy can undermine the best-planned initiatives.

"The biggest deficit that we have in our society and in the world right now is an empathy deficit. We are in great need of people being able to stand in somebody else's shoes and see the world through their eyes." - Barack Obama

When it goes wrong

If you want a really striking example of what happens when empathy is absent from leadership look no further than United Airlines in 2017. The story began when Dr. David Dao boarded a plane in Chicago. He had paid for his seat, received his boarding pass, and was already settled in when airline staff announced they needed seats for crew members who needed to reach another destination. When not enough passengers volunteered to give up their seats in exchange for compensation, the airline selected Dr. Dao for involuntary removal.

What happened next shocked millions. Dr. Dao, explaining he was a physician who needed to see patients the next day, refused to leave his paid seat. Instead of seeking to understand and accommodate his situation, airline staff escalated to security. In footage that would soon go viral, security officers forcibly dragged a bloodied Dr. Dao down the aisle while other passengers recorded the incident on their phones, their protests clearly audible. But it was CEO Oscar Munoz's response that truly revealed the depth of the empathy deficit. His first public statement claimed, "I apologise for having to re-accommodate these customers." Hours later, he doubled down by characterising the bloodied passenger as "disruptive and belligerent" while praising his employees' actions. Only after days of public outrage and impacted stock prices did United offer a genuine apology and change its policies.

This wasn't just a PR disaster - it was a failure of empathy at multiple levels. From the front-line staff who couldn't see beyond procedure to consider a doctor's need to reach his patients, to a CEO who couldn't put himself in the shoes of millions of customers who had experienced the frustration of overbooking. The incident revealed how a lack of empathy can blind an organisation to the real impact of its actions and the human cost of rigid policies.

Perhaps the scariest thing is that none of us is immune – we may think we are empathetic but then in dutifully carrying out company processes, industry norms or in the rush of daily life, we show less empathy. Unfortunately there is often little consequence in the short term, meaning we don’t notice or correct our behaviour, but we’ll likely pay the price later.

Why Empathy Matters in Transformation

Empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another so I think many view it as just a "soft skill" or personal attribute, but it’s actually a business imperative. In the context of transformation, I see it as critical in at least three different ways:

Understanding the Impact of Change

Empathy enables you to truly comprehend how changes affect people's daily lives, careers, and well-being. Without this understanding, even well-intentioned changes can create unexpected hardship and resistance. I remember a system implementation I worked on for a manufacturer. The leadership team was excited about implementing a new workflow system that would streamline operations. On paper, it looked perfect—faster processes, better data, reduced errors. However, when taken to the factory floor one manager immediately noticed something others had missed: the new system required workers to input data while operating their machines, a task that many found stressful and potentially unsafe.

This example is good and bad – the leaders missed the human impact, but they did catch their gap by consulting with their team – a key practice to building empathy into the organisation.

Identifying Sources of Resistance

We all know resistance to change is a big challenge for transformation leaders but empathetic leaders can better understand why people resist change, often revealing valid concerns that need addressing. Rather than dismissing resistance as "fear of change" or "being difficult," they dig deeper to uncover legitimate issues.

Uncovering Unmet and Unarticulated Needs

Perhaps the most powerful aspect of empathy in transformation is its ability to reveal needs that people struggle to express. These unspoken needs often hold the key to truly transformative solutions. As Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella explained in a 2021 interview with Inc: "What is the most innate in all of us is that ability to be able to put ourselves in other people's shoes and see the world the way they see it. That's empathy. That's at the heart of design thinking. When we say innovation is all about meeting unmet, unarticulated needs of the marketplace, it's ultimately the unmet and articulated needs of people, and organisations that are made up of people."

This insight explains why some of the most successful transformations start not with what people say they want, but with what they actually need. Famous examples include how Uber didn't just improve taxi service—it understood the deeper frustration of uncertainty in getting a ride. Or how Airbnb saw beyond hotel alternatives to tap into people's desire for authentic, local experiences. In each case, empathy revealed needs that customers themselves struggled to articulate.

Three Ways to Lead with Empathy

Let me acknowledge firstly that leading with empathy is likely not something that can be learned from a book or a LinkedIn blog post! The best leaders have spent years practicing the skill and recognise the more you lean into the practice, the more you realise you can improve. That said, in the interests of inspiring action, here are three things you can do that will immediately drive benefit:

1. Truly listen - don’t just respond!

Move beyond simply hearing words to understanding the emotions and needs behind them. This means watching body language, asking open-ended questions, and creating space for genuine dialogue. When someone raises a concern, resist the urge to immediately solve or dismiss it. Instead, seek to understand their perspective fully before responding. Conversation is not a tennis match where you have to be solely focused on hitting the ball back.

2. Go Where the Work Happens

The best insights come from direct observation and experience. Spend time on the front lines, shadow employees, and experience processes firsthand. Don't rely on reports and presentations alone—see how changes impact daily work in real time. This immersion helps bridge the gap between theoretical understanding and practical reality.

3. Build Empathy Into Your Processes

Make empathy systematic by incorporating it into your transformation method. Use tools like journey mapping to document stakeholder experiences, employ design thinking workshops to uncover hidden needs, and create feedback loops that capture sentiment. These structured approaches may sound forced but explicitly design it into processes can ensure empathy becomes part of your organisation's standard operating procedure rather than depending solely on individual leadership style.

The Return on Empathy

When you lean into empathy the returns compound. Solutions become more effective because they address real human needs, not just technical requirements. Resistance to change diminishes as people feel genuinely understood and valued. Changes stick because they're built on a foundation of true understanding rather than imposed from above. Perhaps most importantly, empathetic leadership builds the kind of trust that carries organisations through difficult transformations. When people believe their leaders understand and care about their experiences, they're more likely to engage with change even when it's challenging.

The next time you face resistance to change, try shifting from "Why don't they get it?" to "What am I missing about their experience?" This move from judgment to curiosity opens new possibilities for understanding and connection. Remember that the most successful transformations aren't just about changing systems or processes—they're about understanding and serving human needs, both spoken and unspoken.

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